Sam and Mark's Super Happy Wedding Funtime

The Wedding Registry, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mall

Posted on: February 26, 2013

At first, I didn’t want to do a wedding registry at all. But people didn’t listen or just didn’t agree with us. Ironically, the same people that won’t listen to your desire to not register are really insistent that you give them a list of things to buy. It is nice that people want to give us gifts. And if people don’t, that will be fine too. I don’t want to sound ungrateful or insistent. I don’t want anyone to feel obligated, one way or another. To give, not give; ask, not ask.

We registered first on Amazon thinking that would be easiest. Well. It wasn’t. So we decided to head down to our local Macy’s to give people more options. I thought we would be in and out in an hour. I thought it would be a quick scan and then we’d go on to other things. I was wrong. It ended up taking the whole day, and we only registered for a few things.

At first, I thought registering was just building a list of pre-approved gifts. We already have so much stuff together, we’d just list a few random bits of things we wanted and we’d be done. That’s what the amazon list was and that was fine.

But when we started going through the displays at Macy’s and we started thinking about how we would define our ever after, things sort of shifted. This want just a bunch of kitchen stuff, this is what we’d use to entertain (if we ever get a bigger place) this is what we’d use for weekends, this is what we’d use for game nights (again… If we ever get a bigger place- seriously, I’ll invite you ALL over if we ever get a bigger place). This was our future. This is the serving tray we will use for Thanksgiving. This is the salad bowl for special nights and ordinary nights. This is who we will become together as a couple for ever and ever.

It got weirdly overwhelming. It is just stuff. Just a teapot. But will I still like that teapot in ten years. 15? 30? Is it going to stand the test of time? Will it look dated? Will people think we are frivolous for wanting such a silly teapot? Or am I just over-thinking a teapot?

Yeah. It’s the last one. I’m over-thinking a teapot.

So we registered for stuff we liked. Some stuff we’d never buy but thought was nice. We registered for a lot things we know we will never get, and that is totaly fine because in that moment before scanning the bar code, we lived a lifetime together. We had pasta with goat cheese in the pasta dishes while watching movies. We served scotch to friends before a show in the crystal glasses. We argued over the evenness of the sheets. In just a moment, in the flash of the rf scanner, we were in a different time (and a much bigger apartment). We could create a whole new reality just by picking out serving dishes.

If we end up with that crystal decanter, I’m pretty sure I get to be a housewife.

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Sam and Mark

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