Sam and Mark's Super Happy Wedding Funtime

A Wedding I Won’t Have: The Julia Morgan Ballroom

Posted on: February 3, 2012

Oh my god, you are so fancy, Julia Morgan Ballroom. You are so, so, so fancy. If you have your wedding here, you are also fancy. I don’t mean this in any sort of negative way. You are old school, classy, elegant, well-moneyed fancy. To be sure.

Julia Morgan was a lady architect. This is important because she was the first female architect to graduate from the École de Beaux-Arts in Paris. She was also he first licensed female architect in California (she was from Oakland and went to UC Berkeley for civil engineering before she went to Paris). She is probably most well known for that house on the hill in San Simeon, La Cuesta Encantada, aka Hearst Castle.

Hearst Castle - Eric Cobb - Panoramio

If you’ve ever been to Hearst Castle, you’ll know that not only is the house itself amazing, but the scope of construction was incredible. This was a campsite in the hills originally, and now it was going to be a fully modern estate. An estate that Hearst kept modifying and engrandizing (is that a word?) year after year. So this lady architect, with a back ground in civil engineering, had her work cut out for her. And she did an amazing job.

She did a lot of work for Hearst (he was some sort of tycoon in need of buildings), she also did a lot of work for the YWCA in California and Mills College, a woman’s college, in Oakland. She designed the Greek Theatre at UC Berkeley. So Julia Morgan is cool. It is fitting that the ballroom named in her honor should also be kind of out of sight.

The Julia Morgan Ballroom

More Ballroom

Spectacular, right? Classy, right? That’s just the ball room- there is also a beautiful bar and lounge, too.

Getting a wedding right in this place has to be an absolutely massive amount of work. And with this place, you need to get it right. Hillary Clinton spoke in this room. Michelle Obama spoke here. This is not a place to take lightly. This is a place for a capital-e Event. This is the place for women who dream of their wedding day. For women who have bridal parties. For women who’s parents have a say in the guest list. This is a place for a society wedding. This is a lot of pressure. A lot of work.

I do not have the energy to do this. I actually do not care about a wedding enough to put the appropriate amount of effort into planning the type of event that should occur here. If I were a society girl, a mover slash shaker, someone who actually owned a cocktail dress, then this would be the place. Cocktails in the bar- old fashioned cocktails made with whiskey served in crystal glasses. Dinner would be seated, of course, multiple courses, perhaps Benu will cater? And then dancing. This place requires dancing. This is the perfect place for a big band- a swing band- and a crooner. The kinda guy who is not afraid of hair product. The kind of band that wears suits.

My dress would have to be some sort of throwback to the 40’s. Something like this:

Fancy Vintage-like Dress

Mark, of course, would be required to wear a tuxedo. We would also need dancing lessons. Lots and lots of dancing lessons.

Oh my stars, it would be fancy! So FANCY!

Just not… me.

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3 Responses to "A Wedding I Won’t Have: The Julia Morgan Ballroom"

You have wayyyyy more class and elegance in your little finger than the southern cotillion debutantes I went to high school with, that is for sure. Old money doesn’t buy class, it buys you hush hush, on the down low cocaine lines and MURDER!

HAHAHAHAHAHA. That is true. Old money does tend to fund more murder and blow than anything else.

Thanks for sayin’ I’m classy. I *am* classy! I’m just also way to lazy to ever do anything this extravagant.

Your grandmother would not allow you to be anything but classy, and I think you got that part down!

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Sam and Mark

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