Sam and Mark's Super Happy Wedding Funtime

You MUST Dance

Posted on: January 24, 2012

Dancing at a wedding is like bacon at brunch.  Assuming you eat bacon. And brunch.

Dancing, I’ve come to find, is expected at weddings.  Expected.  So expected that the comments on internet posts seeking help on non-dancing weddings are peppered with people telling you that it is weird to not have dancing and that you should have dancing and that if you don’t have dancing everyone will hate you.  People really want dancing.

I’m not opposed to dancing. I’m also not opposed to bacon.  I’m pro-bacon.  I’m pro-dancing too, I guess, but it just feels weird to plan for it at my wedding.

And the wedding blogs make it even tougher. Dancing is shorthand for joy.  Look at any wedding blog post you’ll see pictures of people dancing.  Old people, young people, fat people, skinny people, hipsters- yes, especially hipsters- they all must dance.  Dancing is Proof that the wedding was Fun.

So looking at these lovely weddings, and these obviously joyful and happy dancing people, I get a little nervous.  Like, maybe I should have dancing.  Like, maybe the internet is right.  If I don’t have dancing, no one will enjoy themselves. Everyone will just sit there and stare at each other, biding their time, waiting for an opportunity to exit stage right as fast as their dancing shoes can take them.

The thing is,  I never go dancing.  I have lots of friends who do, but we have managed to socialize successfully without doing either the running man or the fox trot thus far, so I think we should be ok for one more night.

Dancing needs to be organic.  The most fun I’ve had dancing at weddings has been because the band was amazing (and I was probably drunk, but mostly it was the band).  It worked, it was a natural part of the festivities, it was right (it was perfect) for that wedding. It wasn’t forced. If we were getting a band, I might change my tune, but we aren’t.  I can’t afford Spoon or David Byrne.  And a DJ?  Well… something about hiring a DJ just makes me feel… weird.  It doesn’t sit right with me.  I’m not the DJ hiring type.

Music is important to us.  Music is what first brought Mark and I together, so our reception will have music. If the joy cannot be contained, and dancing must occur, I will not stop it. I’m not a monster. I’m just not going to schedule it. I’m not going to assign it a start and end time.  I’m not going to have a floor set up in expectation. I’m not going to set myself up to feel stress because people aren’t dancing when they are supposed to be dancing.

So what about the First Dance? This is a SPECIAL MOMENT and you are just going to throw it away?


Actually, yes.

And it feels kinda good.


2 Responses to "You MUST Dance"

I demand the YMCA!

You don’t have to do anything except recite some vows and sign some paperwork. (That part is super easy.) Go your own way, ma’am…


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Sam and Mark

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