Sam and Mark's Super Happy Wedding Funtime

Am I Doing This Wrong?

Posted on: November 1, 2011

We have a plan.  It is not huge plan.  It is a small plan.  Read: Easy.  It will be a ceremony and cocktails and a delicious dinner and, of course, dessert.

And… that is it.  It is easy.  It is simple.  I *hope* it will be pleasant.  But, is that enough?

If you read the blogs the answer is a resounding NO.  I need to have things.  More things.  Many more things. Lots of things.  Personalized things.  I need all my personalized things to match.  I need linens to match the invitations.  I need a color theme.  A UNIFYING color theme.   I need an inspiration board.

I don’t have an inspiration board.  I don’t have a color theme.  I’m a failure at all things bridal.

This is frustrating.  And frightening. I don’t want to disappoint anybody.  The last thing I want is for people to take the time and trouble to travel across the country or even across town for what amounts to dinner with friends.  Does this need to be an event?  Does it need to be noteworthy?  Blogworthy?  Isn’t it enough that two people have decided to formally transition from ununionized to unionized?

Maybe it isn’t.  As much as I want things to be simple.  Maybe they should not be simple.  Maybe an event like a wedding should be totally crazy and drastic and noteworthy and blogworthy.  Maybe there should be a unifying color theme and contortionists.  Clowns to entertain the children.  Favors with bows.  Butterflies and doves.  Maybe we need all the things to make sure the memories stick.  To make an impression.

I mean, if you want easy, elopement was made for easy.  If you really aren’t concerned about the details, if you really don’t need a unifying color theme, then maybe you shouldn’t trouble anyone with your ununified, unthematic invitations.  All you need is a bride and a groom, right?  A bride a groom and a justice of the peace.  Why bother people with an unmemorable wedding?

I love Mark.  I want to marry him.  I want a very simple ceremony.  I want a simple dinner with friends and family.  I would love for the people I invite to come, but I will understand if they cannot.  I will trust that my lack of a unifying color theme will not upset anyone.  I will trust that the center of all this silliness, of all this weird, forced anxiety, is worthy on its own and does not need the dishes to match the boutonnieres.  The center of all of this is really what matters.  I love Mark and he loves me and we are going to go forward in life together.  This makes me so happy and I want to share our happiness with the people I love.  That’s it.  That is all.  I hope that will be enough.

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5 Responses to "Am I Doing This Wrong?"

The day after Jeff and I got married, as we drove away from our newlywed brunch with family (which, by the way, I had to have in order to be able to have any time to sit down and actually ENJOY the company that traveled miles and miles to see us get married), I said, “Next time, let’s run away to Vegas and I’ll wear a red, slutty dress.” I still mean that. It isn’t the Vegas thing, just the make it small and intimate and meaningful part. Make it something that YOU will look back on and remember forever — every detail. I mean, every IMPORTANT detail. Like my mother (who, by the way, eloped) who can still tell you how the sun shone through the stained glass windows onto my dad’s face making his eyes look so blue and the brought out the red in his sideburns. 🙂 Those are the moments that are lost to me because I was too preoccupied with all the other stuff…and I didn’t even have matching linens or a color scheme either! ❤

That’s so sweet! And exactly why I am trying to keep it as simple as possible. It is just that weird feeling of- wait, is this enough? I need to stop worrying. The whole point of simple is to NOT worry.

Elopement is not off the table. But I would like to share this with family and friends- so… elopement with guests 😛

Unifying color = ribbons the color of your dress on the flowers.
Theme = “I love Mark. I want to marry him. I want a very simple ceremony.”
Butterflies and Doves = they will be in your stomach. As the wise Zuma Blitz Tiki God says just “make sure they fly in formation.”
Clowns = DON’T YOU DARE!

The people you invite want to be there for you and Mark, and to have a lovely celebration (dinner and maybe cake if we are lucky). If you don’t have to worry you can be there and have cake too!

I don’t know, Mom… clowns may be needed…

I am known for placing my foot in my mouth, do you think that’s clownish enough? I can do that while wearing lots of makeup….

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